Motherhood - Rainbows and butterflies?

Posted by ~Summer~ on July 03, 2012
in , ,

Motherhood.

The one word that evokes countless emotions in me, the one journey that's amazingly gratifying, the one thing that has entirely changed my life.

You know how back in school we always wrote essays that talk about our ambitions? Well, I did write about wanting to become a teacher just because that seemed normal and declaring to the world that I wanted to be a mum at the mere age of 8 wasn't something I was game for.

Especially not when I had a big crush on this boy in my class whom I dreamt of marrying and even pasted our pictures in a heart shaped card which I kept in my purse. So, naturally I wrote about how I hoped to become a teacher and make as many bright babies students as I could.

But deep down inside, I guess a part of me always knew that becoming a mum was my true aspiration.

In a sense, dreams came true for me and I ditched away being a teacher, a media executive and all the allures of the corporate world to travel to a far away land and start my life anew. Fate decided a baby should come along and shortly, I fulfilled my lifelong goal of becoming a mum.



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That said, is motherhood all about rainbows and butterflies?

Well, absolutely. N-o-t.

I'm kind of a happy-go-lucky girl who sees the glass as half full in her life, but to sugarcoat motherhood as all rainbows, butterflies, cute puppies, soft and sweet-smelling baby bottoms, that would just be a big fat lie.

So the truth is:

The rainbows are there but you realise that they only come after the rain. And they often don't stay around long enough.

Butterflies flutter and if you are lucky, they land on your shoulder for a while. But usually, they evade you and you have to run and search after them to witness their beauty.

Puppies are cute, cuddly and lovely to hold. But when they are hungry, tired or agitated, they snap, they bark and some even hurt you with their claws.

Every baby wipe commercial shows how soft and tender baby's bottoms are. Truth is, that happens only half the time. The other half they are soaked in pee or smeared with poo. Plus babies' farts doesn't mean they don't reek.




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Sometimes you can't help it but wonder, was this the dream that you dreamt about as a kid? Did you really sign up for this gig and take the road of no return? Is there anything you can do to hit the 'rewind' button and go back to carefree days free of soiled diapers and temper tantrums?

Neh.

Once a mum, forever a mum. Even if sometimes you feel like you are wiping up the last bit of your sanity from the kitchen floor or scrubbing off the last bit of your self-worth down the toilet sink. You just have to take it in, breathe hard, pick yourself up and know that being a mum has turned you into a wonder woman who's strong enough to lift the world on her shoulders.

You see, being a mum gave me the determination I never had. It made me stronger than I ever was. It showed me how I could love in ways I never knew I could.



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When my baby was born, I was reborn.

Into a new mum, a tougher lady and a better person. I see things from a different perspective and I love my life even more than before.

I love how we hold hands to admire every rainbow that comes after the rain. It's a realization and reminder that life isn't sweet without the bitterness. How would we learn to appreciate what joy is if we have not gone through any hurt?

I love how we play hide and seek with the butterflies and feel a sense of contentment when we finally spot a one resting peacefully in the bushes. She would run after them squealing in delight and all I see is my beautiful butterfly who's here to stay in my life.

I love how we greet the puppies on the streets, how she strokes the tame ones and her face lits up, how she gets terrified by the fierce ones and I stand forward, put on my fiercest growl and protect her with all I've got.

I love her smooth bottom and yes, I've even put my face up there many times on the good-smelling days. To say I love her poo would be pushing it too much, so no I don't, thankyouverymuch. Except on days when she's constipated.



******

Motherhood led me to the discovery of who I am and what I love in life.

Becoming a mum brought out the best and worst of me, but everything I've felt is real.

I now wake up in the mornings and be greeted by the heartiest smile I can ever imagine.

I enjoy walks in the parks and the vibrant colours of life look even more vibrant.

I shop in the kids' departments and toy stores and surprisingly I'm loving shopping more than I ever did.

I get so used to cleaning up pee and poo that it's become part of my routine. The colour and texture of her poo has even become a common dinner time topic.

I love our hugs, cuddles and kisses so much so that I have to do it a thousand times a day.

I see the unwashed dishes and dirty laundry but would willingly put them aside to read a book to my girl.

I see more, hear more, smile more, laugh more and cry less. 

I go to bed so exhausted every night but my heart is full. Of bliss, of joy, of gratitude.

******

I look back on my life with fondness and realise that yes, I'm living the dream I had always wanted.

Every day, every minute, every second.

Indeed, it is the imperfections of motherhood that makes it so perfect. 


28 comments:

  1. What a lovely post! I can relate a lot - I dreamed of being a mum, it was pretty much all I wanted to do, but when I had my first baby I struggled soooo much. And I still don't find it comes quite naturally. And its hard. Much harder than it looks :)
    Glad you now go to bed with a full heart of joy and gratitude each night :)

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    1. Thanks! Yeah I'm sure all of us struggled at one point in time. I'm so glad you made it through! It's definitely so much harder than it seems! =) Thanks for the sweet thought, I sure hope your heart is full every night too! =)

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  2. This is lovely! You children as so blessed to have you as their mum. Rachel x

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    1. Awwwwww. Thanks. I think I'm the more blessed one though to have her as my kid. Lol.

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  3. beautifully said! I love how you mentioned when you child was born you were reborn :) so true..

    Ai @ Sakura Haruka

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    1. Thanks Ai! Yeah glad you didn't find it too cheesy. Haha.

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  4. Thank you for sharing! It is so true! =)

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    1. Thank you! I'm glad you think the same way too!

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  5. Wow, at 8 years old?! Hahaha... I knew it when I was 15. All my friends didn't believe me coz I was this tomboy back then haha...

    Love this post :) and totally agree, I don't like shit either, unless they're constipated!!! LOL

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    1. Haha can't believe you were a tomboy! Anyway I don't really remember in which primary level we wrote that essay but 8 seems like a good number. Wahaha. Oh dear, I can't even tell you how bad Angel's constipation gets at times and prunes don't do the trick. That's when I lovvveeee to see her shit. Lol.

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  6. This post was just beautiful honey. I almost teared up. Motherhood can be a struggle and a joy but can also be so rewarding and so wonderful. I'd never give it up!

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    1. Awwww thanks Penny. Agree with what you said, it's a struggle and yet it's the most rewarding journey. I won't trade it in for anything or have it any other way too! =)

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  7. I too also always knew I wanted to be a mom since sec sch days. My sec sch clique took a vote n they all predicted I wld b the first to become a mom n they were right! While everyone persued their careers I was building my family. It's different focus I guess :)

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    1. Wow it's your destiny to be a mum! =) It's good to give birth early, isn't it? More energy to keep up with the kids. Lol. I'd choose family over career anytime!

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  8. love the last photo! I'm still some way from even seeing the imperfections as perfecting motherhood, but yes! we'd not press rewind for the world.

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    1. Thanks! Motherhood will never be a perfect journey with its ups and downs, but all we can do is to try to enjoy and learn from every part of the ride. That said, I still lose my cool sometimes too but yes, I won't press the rewind button for anything in the world!

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    1. Thank you Wendy! Glad you like it!

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  10. awww what a beautiful heartwarming post. i never knew i wanted to be a mum. but now i love it. almost every minute of it :)

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    1. Thanks Adora! I'm sure you're a great mum! And glad you're loving the journey! Yes, 'almost' every minute is correct! Lol!

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  11. Hi, your daughter is beautiful.

    I'm following from Bloggy Moms. When you have a moment, please take a look at my two blogs and hopefully follow. You can find them at http://www.povblog.net and http://www.frazzledfran.blogspot.com

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  12. Yes, after witnessing my wife become a great mummy, I really think that giving birth allows a woman to summon strength inside them that they never thought they had, and that's so beautiful.

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    1. That's an awesome thing to say, Eddie. I'm sure your wife will be touched and it works the same for fatherhood too, I'm sure you are now stronger than you ever were! =p

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  13. This is beautifully written. Love it.
    Love it!!
    I'm a poo-loving, poo-sniffing mom. Not like I have a choice. Haha...

    (A bit of me can't help but wonder... Which guy? Sorry! ;p)

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    1. Thanks babe! Haha i love to put my face on my kids' bum bum (when it is clean), as weird as it sounds. Hahahaha. Aiyoh, childhood fantasies, let it remain a secret! Lol. I'm sure we all let our imagination run wild at some point or another!

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