Happiness is... making time for what matters

Posted by ~Summer~ on January 27, 2025
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Many a time, amidst our busy schedules and never ending errands on our to-do list, we find ourselves saying "No time", "我没有空‘’, "I can't do this now", "Sorry I can't be with you, my love" and so on. It's almost too easy to use a lack of time as a reason, or in some cases, an excuse.

I get it, you know. 24 hours a day is really limited and I wish some days are longer too because I seriously can't finish what I wanna do within a short day itself. But then again, we also find ourselves scrolling through social media mindlessly, we still watch dramas on Netflix or on our mobiles, we still have time to watch or read news, we take long showers and keep ourselves in the toilet for a long time just to enjoy more me-time and be cut off from the rest of the world momentarily. So then, is time honestly inadequate or is it just that we have priorities in life and when something seems not as important to us, we use some feeble excuse to dismiss it and justify to ourselves that we have more urgent things to do?

Well, that is just how I feel sometimes and now that the kids are fast growing up, I find it even more important to put away all things on my list just so I can spend more time with them. Once they grow up, it's harder to go on family outings, vacations or even have meals together because they are gonna build their own social circles and get busy with school, friends and everything else in their teenhood - like how we used to back in the days too, remember?

In this post of "Happiness is...", it's about making time for what truly matters in life and also learning to let go.

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I used to emphasise a lot on togetherness - actually I still do - and it would irk me when one of the kids threw a tantrum or just started saying things like "I want to stay home" or "I don't wanna go out with you all". This is especially so if the event had been pre-arranged and I had told them in advance, and worse if it was a media invite and I had already committed to the client on the number of pax. 

But over the last couple of years, I've slowly learnt to accept the fact that sometimes, it's okay to leave one or two kids out if they are really not in the mood to head out. Also, due to the fact that my kids vary in age, I have to understand that their likes and dislikes can and will differ greatly especially since they are in different phases of life. I mean, I have a teenager who is turning 15 and a 3yo toddler, how can they like the same thing, right?

In addition, the elder ones are generally busier with school life, CCAs and other after school activities. So while I still can hang out with the younger ones and they still love me to bring them out for play, let's do it! Part of what I love about being a SAHM is that my weekday afternoons are always dedicated to my kids and spent bonding with them.

We love going to Changi Airport and while the girls stayed back in school, I brought the two boys with me for an event and we took pretty photos, played mini golf, ate Thai food, went to the playground and arcade before calling it a day. I had to order takeaway for the girls but I think they were happy to have some alone or sisterly time without me hovering around them or the brothers making a din at home.

This little one will be turning four next year and I deeply cherish these few years while he is still a toddler and a preschooler before he goes to primary school. That is why I am very happy and contented to have him attend merely three hours of nursery each day so that we can still spend the rest of the day together. Yes, that means very little me-time for me but it's just for the time being before he grows up so there's really nothing to regret or complain about, the way I see it.

I also love going on school excursions with him while I still get the chance to. I miss doing this with the three older ones and guess what, it's the kind of thing that once it's gone, the opportunity never returns again. Because our kids grow and much as we hope they might remain tiny so we can cuddle and kiss them more, the truth is they outgrow our arms and laps faster than we'd like.

So Ansel and I made a trip to Bollywood farm with his school mates and besides going on a farm tour to learn more about some species of trees, we also planted a pandan plant together.

He was all smiles the whole morning and it felt so good to be able to sit beside him on the bus, holding his little hand in mine. On our way back, he was exhausted and fell asleep with his head resting on my lap. These are the little, happy moments I live for as a mum and I count my blessings for such simple joy that fill up my heart.

The hubby, who is in the navy, works very hard to bring home the bacon and since he is not around on most days, I am thankful to get the opportunity to stay home because having one parent as the caretaker, in my view, makes a difference to the kids especially in their growing up years.

That said, despite his hectic schedule, he still reserves some time for us on weekends. The kids are happy whenever he can take us out because it means we will drive and go to further places. Plus, he is usually the chef, for instance when we went mookata, he cooks for us while I feed the youngest and the rest just indulge and feast. Haha.

We also made time for a family stayover at Changi Experience Studio, which is something that the kids always look forward to because it means there would be lots of activities to play, we could stay up till late at night and enjoy the camping experience in a real tent.

Not only that, the kids also got to go on a flight simulator experience and we had lots of fun in Canopy Park. You know, kids are actually very simple-minded and if parents could just slow down and engage in games like playing tag or hide and seek with them, they don't really need fanciful toys or electronic gadgets to keep them occupied. All they need is our time and attention.

I still absolutely enjoy our mum-and-kids outings and now that the mid-year holidays is fast approaching, it also means there are lots of fun activities islandwide for us to check out. We visited Gardens By The Bay and had fun at the Inside Out 2 themed station activities, even though they were a little kiddy for the two Jiejies, it was nice to see them willing to accompany the brothers, like how they pushed them on the swings.

The zoo is a place we can never get tired of and we cherish every opportunity that we get to visit and see the animals up close. This time, we joined in for a fun Zoolympix event and the kids had fun hopping like kangaroos, hanging like orangutans and running like cheetahs. It was nice to see all the kids having fun and the elder ones would try to compete against each other too - they even had their names up on the leaderboard of the day for the fastest timings, well done, kiddos!



I am immensely grateful to Skechers for sponsoring our footwear for so many years and we are loyal to the brand too because we do love their comfort and all of us wear our shoes out nearly every day. Yup, don't give me stilettos, heels or wedges - all I need is a good pair of sports shoes and I will be very happy. Remember how I said I am determined to exercise more starting this year? Yup, that means my Skechers shoes will be my companion and source of motivation too!


Big thanks to the hubby and kids for willing to take photos too - I mean, you do get 'free' shoes while I do the work like writing, editing pics and uploading onto social media, right? Still, I'm not sure for how long more we will get any sort of sponsorship because there are so many mums out there now who are more active, get tenfold more likes and have more clout than me.

After being a blogger for 15 years, I'm a bit jaded already and if I do keep writing and posting, it's mainly for my own memories and for my kids to reminisce in future instead of wanting to get more sponsorship. I guess that is also why you come back to read my posts, right? Because I try to keep it real, write from the heart and share earnestly about the ups and downs of my motherhood journey.


We also managed to squeeze in a 3D2N staycation this month and where else but Wild Wild Wet! I have said this before but to repeat again, it is likely the most economical staycay we can find and as NTUC members, we get four daily, complimentary tickets to Wild Wild Wet which makes the stay really worthwhile. 




There was this long water obstacle course set up in Wild Wild Wet and we had fun racing each other from start to end. The kids were so much faster than I but hey, at least I tried to overcome every obstacle, right? It was also nice holding Ansel's hand and going at a leisurely pace and while it was challenging trying to push him up the slopes, let's just take it as a good workout. We also had family meals together with the hubby who made time to join us, had a BBQ with our friends, went late night cycling, scooting and running at the beach and watched a late night movie too. Such precious memories!




May marks the hubby's birthday and we had a simple celebration for him at home. Being who he is, whom in many aspects mirrors my values and preferences, he would rather have a cheap, kopitiam dinner than to splurge on a hotel buffet. So we usually keep the celebration simple but having a cake cutting ceremony with the family and getting handmade birthday cards from the kids made the occasion special and memorable.


I also took time off on a weekend afternoon to catch up with my Jiemeis and celebrated one of their birthdays too. It's always nice to meet up sans kids because it means we can talk about anything under the sun without the fear of judgement since we've known each other for nearly three decades already. Yes, I might not spend as much time on friends than I do with family but these girls mean a lot to me and friendship is still very important to me too.



Back at home, we still deal with tantrums, outbursts, bickers and occasional fun adventures like how the kids worked together to catch this giant cockroach. Yup, these two are braver than me when it comes to bugs, especially big ones, so I usually leave the task to them.


We also bought this 500-piece jigsaw puzzle and the three older kids solved it together as a team in half a day. It was nice to see the big girl taking time off from her devices and for them to spend some bonding time together. Check out the end product, pretty cool, right?



It's been harder but we still make it a point to dance and exercise together every few days. It usually means we have to pack up the messy living room to make space but I think it is worthwhile as these are the fun moments they will remember when they are older.


The sweet darling of mine surprises me every day, sometimes it's the words that he suddenly says, sometimes it's his sweet gestures, funny antics or simply how he can fall asleep anytime anywhere.


Oh, May also marks Mother's Day which means we came together with the extended family to celebrate. Having a BBQ might sound simple but it takes a lot of effort as the hubby and my fil always prepare and buy everything on their own, and it's not something we take for granted. So thank you for making our family BBQs so awesome!


The kids became mini chefs as they made mini donuts and fried rice. It was so fun and cute to watch and the most important thing was that they enjoyed the session and loved the yummy food they made themselves.



We still love watching movies in the cinema and it's something that bonds us and make us look forward to. This month, we watched Garfield and it was so much more heartwarming and poignant than I expected, the part about kinship and family ties always gets to me and makes me tear. I sincerely hope that we will still meet up for movie nights in future every once in a while, even when the kids are all grown up already. Well, one can always dream and hope for the best, right?


That marks the end of May and it also means we've stepped into the mid-year hols. We don't plan to travel since it is PSLE year for the secondborn and also because we have already made plans for the year end to travel with our parents. Still, you bet we will not be staying at home much durng the hols, till the next post on that, yeah?

For now, I hope we are all making time for the things and people who truly matter to us for life is too short for us to waste any bit of it. Remember to make more lasting memories, tell your loved ones how much you care and spend some time to love yourself too, yeah?


Forty one

Posted by ~Summer~ on January 09, 2025
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I've been wanting to write this post for a long time but while there were many thoughts running the back of my mind, I didn't really know how to put them into words.

This year has been a challenging one for me, especially on a personal level. I'm not sure if it's the midlife crisis period or if it's just me struggling to find my sense of identity, self worth and wanting to do more with my life. On some days, I try my best to accomplish more, only to take a few steps backward and feel like a fool for making silly choices that lead me nowhere.

As for motherhood, well, it never gets easier and now that I have two teens in the house, one tween and one toddler to handle, I think my plate is is very full. I've no idea how fellow mums can juggle work and home because I'm so overwhelmed from just being a full-time mum who has to take care of the kids, hold the fort at home and has a whole list of chores waiting to be dealt with each day.

Some days, I feel so guilty for raising my voice, blowing my top or saying things that I regret and there are also the unbearable days when the kids say things that break my heart and make me feel like the worst mum ever. The thing about being a parent is that no matter how tough a day you might have faced, after crying your heart out, you still have to dry your tears, pick yourself up, hope to have learnt a lesson or two and then start afresh again the next day with renewed hope and positivity in your heart.

So I turned 41 in April and although I didn't have any wish other than for the people I love to be happy and healthy, I also knew I wanted to take steps to adjust my lifestyle, get rid of some bad habits, have a healthier sleep routine, try to be more patient and work harder to get myself to a better place than before. I also think it's high time for me to show myself more love because I think that's what's been lacking for me in the past years. 

One of my resolutions for 2025 is to work out more, take more fitness classes or just head to the gym more often. Yes, I wanna become fitter and toner and a big part of it is because I still want to be strong and independent and not be a burden on the kids as I grow older. I wanna see them walking down the aisle, I wanna have the chance to experience being a grandma, I wanna see more of the world, I wanna grow old gracefully and make wiser choices as my hair becomes grey and my wrinkles appear. 

In 2024,  I signed up for Class Pass and made it a point to try out new exercises. So far, I've done aerial hammock, circuit training, yoga, HIIT, trampoline workouts, aerial hoop, zumba, went to gyms and am looking forward to explore more to find out what works for my body and what I enjoy doing.

On the part about seeing the world, I was glad to have done a mum-and-kids trip with the kids in November, even if it was just a short trip to Bintan. I will find time to write about our overseas trips slowly but surely so if you are keen to read more, you just have to stay tuned. Anyway, we went kayaking, tried snorkelling, took a boat to go on a mangrove tour and also saw fireflies at night too. It was a good retreat and one that I hope the kids will remember for a long time. I can't wait for the next trip already!


For the first time in a long time, there was a concert that I felt like I absolutely couldn't miss. Yup, it was Energy's concert and I've been following their updates, singing their songs, learning their dances ever since they made a comeback last year. I mean, because of me, my kids know a lot of their songs too! It's like how I've heard lots of Stray Kids' songs because of the girls' influence, haha. 

So, I decided to splurge on myself and get tickets to go for their concert and it was made especially memorable because it was Asher's first concert too - yes, he also likes their songs! This was one of the rare times where I totally let loose and allow myself to enjoy, while leaving the toddler at home with the two teenagers, haha. Yes, the hubby was overseas at that time but my girls assured me that they could take care of Ansel and told me to just go for the concert that I was looking to for so long and not be worried. And so I did.


While I'm not a great chef nor do I really fancy whipping up a storm in the kitchen, I still want to have home cooked meals for the kids and that is my main motivation to go grocery shopping and come home to cook. Well, for the record, we also order takeaways and we dine out too, but every couple of days, I hope to have home cooked food on our dining table and that takes way more effort and sweat than it looks, but I wanna keep it going. Who knows, maybe one day soon, the kids can cook a whole meal for us too!



There are many things that I've been wanting to do but procrastination got the better of me on most days. This includes doing our travel videos, art and craft projects or even a drama series or movie that I've been wanting to watch. One of my resolutions is to stop leaving till tomorrow what I can achieve today. A project that I undertook at the end of last year was doing a personalised bead portrait of Ansel so that my collection is finally complete. Yup, each of these portraits is made of 3,600 beads and they have a special significance to me since the first one of Angel was done in Sweden, the place where I stepped into motherhood. So glad to have complete this and these portraits are now proudly displayed side by side in our living room. Yay!


On the day that I turned 41, I woke up and saw this cutie pie making ham and cheese soldiers for my breakfast. She kept saying that they looked terrible and how I wished I could make her understand that it is always the thought and gesture that matter more than the outcome. Yup, it was one of the nicest breakfast I've had and that was because it contained the one ingredient that money cannot buy - LOVE.


In the afternoon, my parents treated me to a buffet lunch before we made our way to their house for the caking cutting ceremony. As usual, my Dad bought me my favourite Coco Exotic cake and the kids love it too because it is so rich and chocolatey and yummy. The kids gave me their handmade cards and I hope they know how much each and every of these cards mean to me. I mean, I have kept all of them in a box from Day 1 and this is my treasure stash that will follow me till the day I'm gone. It's something that, again, money can't buy and these are the simple yet priceless things that matter to me in my life.



For dinner, we ate my favourite braised pork rice at Downstairs and it was such an economic yet delicious meal. Just to give ourselves a treat, we also went to get root beer float and curly fries, haha. Yes, the kids and I love A&W, don't you too? For me, I really don't think I will ever desire to try or even look forward to five-star hotel meals, omakase or having to wear formal clothes to dine at some fanciful restaurant. But to have a meal with my loved ones on my birthday and tuck into the food I love, even if it's just zi char at the kopitiam, I will be happy and contented already. 


In the evening, we went to the beach for a stroll and then went to the park so that we could play at the playground. I went on the swing, I let the kids push me on the flying fox, I pushed them as fast as I could run too, and we just enjoyed each other's company, enjoyed the sea breeze, admire the horizon and felt the warm sun rays on our face before the sun set. That concluded my special day in the best way ever - simple times, lasting memories, happy me.



Yes, the tough days will continue to come and challenges will always lie in wait for us as we grow. Despite the name of my blog, I've never thought that life is a bed of roses and I've always known that it is full of ups and down. So is yours, so is mine. 


We are all the same in more ways than one and if you are facing a bad day, please know that you are not alone. Always hold on to the hope in your heart because trust me, things will get better and the good days will come. And when they do, let's just make sure that we make the most of them and cherish the moments that will fuel us, be our motivation to go on, stay positive and never give up.


I'm hoping to write more and document more of our family life as well as my parenting thoughts in 2025. So thank you for reading and for being here all along, it means more to me than you will ever know. 42 is gonna be great, I know it and I can't wait to share more in the next birthday post!


Happiness is... cherishing highlights

Posted by ~Summer~ on November 23, 2024
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I love writing these monthly "Happiness is..." posts because they help me to look back, keep life in perspective and remind me that beyond the challenges and struggles, there is still much around me to be grateful for.

Let's see. At this point in writing, my laptop that has accompanied me for nearly a decade is on the verge of shutting down for good and the screen is almost falling off after suffering a fall. But it works for now and I can still type on it so I am going to make it last for as long as it can.

The kids keep me busy on my toes day in day out and constantly test my patience and endurance. I always thought it might get easier as they grow up but nope, parenting teens brings about another whole new set of challenges and there is much for me to learn. That said, it also means I am blessed to be a mum who is surrounded by mayhem and laughter rather than staying in an empty home.

April marked several milestones for me, personally, and the biggest one had to be turning a year wiser. In this post of "Happiness is...", it's about cherishing life's highlights.



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It's not a secret that I love handwritten cards and handmade gifts. They bring me joy and warm my heart in a way that no tangible gift can ever achieve. So yes, I am one who says no to cosmetics, flowers, bags and anything to do with fashion but give me a DIY card or an origami folded with love and they are more than enough to fill my heart.

The kids presented me with these on my birthday and I hope they know how much these mean to me. I have a whole box of cards and handmade presents from them and I will keep these for as long as I live. Each of them has a special significance to me and it's something that money cannot buy.

Wondering what this is? These 'soldiers' toasties were made with love by Ariel for my birthday breakfast. Yup, it was really sweet, thoughtful and nice of her to wake up early to do that. She even remembered to wash the dishes instead of leaving a mess for me to clear up and I appreciated that very much too. Thank you for being a truly sweet daughter, dear Ariel!


For lunch, we met up with my parents and had a buffet a Seoul Garden. This used to be one of the favourite hangouts for me and my secondary friends and coming back here brought back some fond memories for sure.

We went back to my parents' place aka my 娘家 for the cake cutting ceremony. My Dad bought my favourite Coco Exotic cake and the kids and I always enjoy eating it. Yes, I don't really have fanciful celebrations at this age nor do I make a big deal out of my birthday, but just being with the kids and my family suffices to make me a happy girl.


In the evening, we went for a simple family dinner, just six of us and had a yummy meal consisting of macaroni soup, fried chicken wings and lu rou fan. I'm not one who loves lavish meals, neither is the hubby, so we don't really do fine dining or go to high class restaurants nor have we tried stuff like omakase. But give us a bowl of bak chor mee, hokkien mee or chwee kueh and we will love our meals.

After dinner, since I had no preference or where to go or what to do, we decided to go to the park so that the kids can take a stroll by the beach and play at the playground. My kids told me to get on the flying fox and they took turns to push me which made me feel like a kid all over again and that is a special feeling on your birthday.

Apart from special days, we also celebrated milestones too, like how the girls went for their black/poom (junior black) belts grading and successfully passed. Woohoo, congratulations, my dears! When I signed them up for Taekwondo classes as a year end holiday activity, I never expect that they would continue for over another two and a half years and even achieved black belts. So kudos to all of you, including Asher who is now black tip, for persevering and never giving up.

April was also a month where I met up with friends who were very sweet to celebrate my birthday with me. Now that I am 41, I don't like to make my birthday a big thing - I admitted I would like that when I was younger and have birthday bashes or huge gatherings with dozens of people - but would prefer intimate gatherings. I find it hard to chit chat when there is a huge group of people so it only makes more sense to gather in small groups so that we can really catch up on each other's lives instead of just cutting cake and taking photos.

Another highlight of April was how we took on a documentary project for S.E.A. Aquarium and this involved a whole day of filming in Sentosa. Ariel and Asher were the cast and it was an eye opener for them as they got to see how filming works and how much work goes on behind the scenes. For instance, they had to do simple scenes like running or splashing water and repeat a dozen times just to get different angles and make sure everything was perfect.

Asher was actually running a fever that morning and we woke up and it was tough on him to have to endure the bright sun and film for hours on end, including doing a voice recording after over 14 hours of being out in Sentosa. Thankfully, the crew was very nice to us and provided us with meals, drinks and even sheltered him with an umbrella in between the takes. 



One good thing was we got to enter the aquarium after closing hours because that was when filming could take place without a crowd. It was our first time doing that and although we were not allowed to wander off and explore the aquarium, it was still nice to see some of the fishes this late at night and it felt surreal to be inside an empty aquarium. We had our dinner at past 9pm and guess what, we ate takeaways in the basement carpark with the crew. Haha. By then, Ansel was so exhausted that he had fallen asleep in the pram and the rest were hungry and tired. Asher had to be whisked away to do a voiceover and thankfully, he stepped up and persevered till the end, despite his temperature.

So kudos to both Asher and Ariel for being an awesome cast and for completing this memorable filming project. Hopefully, you learned a thing or two and had fun in the process too!



SYF is the event that Ariel had been training hard for and looking forward to for a long time. As the dance captain, she had to take on extra duties in her P6 year and her dance team put in long hours of training week after week to practice their dance for the big day.


I was so thankful that we got to watch it live, even if it meant that we had to travel to NUS all the way just to watch her on stage for five minutes. Was it worthwhile? Totally! I remember that we couldn't do it the previous time due to Covid so this time, I had to make sure that I showed up. The brothers tagged along too and the funniest thing was when Ariel had finished the dance, Ansel turned around and asked us "Where is 二姐?" Apparently, he didn't recognise it was her despite her being in the centre of the stage most of the time. I don't blame it because with the thick makeup and hair, it was hard to tell the girls apart because they all looked similar.

We are so proud of you, dear Ariel, and you did a most awesome job! I know you are saddened that you all didn't achieve the Distinction award but life is like that, we just gotta work harder the next time but in the meantime, celebrate your achievement and be proud of where you are. You girls worked so hard and have come a long way for sure. *pats on back and big hugs*













In other updates, we are still making time for play, especially on weekends. We head to playgrounds, we go for swims and we also visit our favourite hangouts like Jewel. Weekends are very important to us and I never would want to sacrifice our family time for enrichment classes or tuition, that is why as best as possible, I still keep our weekends free. Yes, so still no tuition for any of the kids yet at this point.
 



However, we do attend Heguru on Fridays and the kids all love their teachers and the activities they do in class. This is especially so for Ansel who has improved by leaps and bounds and he is now so much more confident, vocal, focused and can follow instructions well. I kind of like that this is how we spent our Friday afternoon because it means we will always eat out on Friday night, followed by going for a movie, having desserts, going window shopping or heading to the arcade for some fun. Friday nights awesome!



Last but not least, I also went for a rare night out with my jie meis to have a nice, cosy dinner and celebrate. Friends of mine will know that I seldom take a night off mummy duties because the toddler, who is still breastfeeding, is very clingy to me and needs me to put him to bed. I don't really complain much because I know it is a passing phase and soon, I will my freedom returned back to me when the kids are bigger.




Still, I cherish nights like this because it is when I get to put my hair down and feel a little more like me again. The me who used to love to drink, dance, party, be merry and be in the company of good friends. In fact, my girls are the ones who encouraged me to go out and say things like "Go, Mama, you need your break!", and "We can take care of ourselves" and "Have some me-time and enjoy it".

The boys are still a little sad to see me go out without them but like I said, it is an age thing and I have no doubt that they will soon outgrow it. It's really once in a blue moon that I do this and entrust four kids in the care of the hubby but hey, I do think I deserve it, don't I?



So big thanks to everyone who sent their wishes and celebrated with me in one way or another, I truly appreciate each and every kind gesture, no matter how big or small.



I guess my next post will be how it feels to turn 41 but in the meantime, let me contemplate about what I wanna share because some heartfelt thoughts can be very raw and emotional. But I also guess that is why some of you still hang around and read my blog because it's as real as it gets, right?

Till the next post of "Happiness is..."!