Happiness is... celebrating others while not forgetting yourself

It's too easy, for me at least, to put focus on the wellbeing of others and neglect myself in the process. I mean, I was the friend who would stay up till wee hours to weave friendship bands, who gave out handmade Christmas gifts, who would write personalised good luck cards and hang goodie bags onto hostel doors to wish every friend best of luck for their exams.

So when I became a mum in a foreign land, especially a stay-at-home one whose life revolves around the kids 24/7, it was easier to even forget that I exist. I planned parties and celebrations for the kids, I made videos and took photos of them, I did the incessant household chores and cooked the dishes they liked, I went to kiddy places like playgrounds and watched more cartoons than dramas.

With the need to solo parent the kids on most days, it became hard, like really hard, for me to do the things I like to do. I guess that is why I love blogging and taking videos so much, because at least they symbolise my own passion in life, and are a reminder that I still exist as a person with hobbies and dreams.

With the kids getting bigger, I have slightly more time on my hands these days and thus, I am making time for myself to, well, just be me. Like going for a hot yoga class, watching The Good Doctor, eating the snacks I like and just relaxing and feel guilt-free about getting takeaways when I don't feel like stepping into the kitchen. I mean, half of my life is over and while I love my kids more than anything, I also want my second half of life to be more than just them. I want to re-discover me.

In this post of "Happiness is...", it's about celebration others while not forgetting myself in the process too.

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Family outings are always cherished, especially when the hubby makes time to join in. This month marks his birthday and we celebrated it with a nice meal in Changi Airport and a fun workout session in Griddy Grid.

Like me, he is one who tends to forget about himself so I was glad we managed to have some fun time on his actual birthday as a family. I don't want to be the kind of parent who films the kids and watches from the sideline, I wanna be the one who joins their team, gets into action and run, laugh, play and bond with them. And so we did.

Badminton was the thing that brought us together when we got into NTU Hall 6 and alas, we don't play the sport ad much as we would love to. That is simply because courts are hard to get and weekends are too precious for us to be spent on travelling and training every week. Still, we love playing badminton leisurely and letting everyone come together just to have some fun.

If anything, I am just glad that we have always remained a sporty family and are game to take up new sports, go on adventures and try new experiences. Sports has an amazing way of building resilience and of course, it is crucial that we stay fit no matter what age we are and I hope we can continue to make workouts a way of life.

Talking about that, the girls and I still go for spinning classes together and it's pretty awesome that we've kept it up. This month, we also made our way to the stadium to try sprinting 100m and 200m together. I used to run in my primary school days and was totally flabberghasted to see how far behind these two girls I was and how hard I was gasping for breath. Gosh, 不认老都不行，so I better get down to training my stamina and get fitter even as I age. When there's a will, there's a way!

Aside from that, we also factor in lots of time for play and enjoyment. One of it is going for movies, something that we all love and have been keeping up for nearly two decades. Be it cosy movie nights or at home or movie trips to the cinema, we love both and appreciate every chance we get to watch awesome shows.

This month, we caught two shows, the first being the live remake of Lilo and Stitch, one of my favourite animated films because of its theme on Ohana. It was so good and we all had a fabulous time from start to finish.

We were also at the preview of Karate Kid - The Legends because we love Jackie Chan movies and the film starring Jaden Smith was really outstanding, and we have watched that several times. This one was not as good as its predecessor but we still had a swell time too.

I don't love cooking but I like to cook for the kids. Yeah, if you get what I mean. It brings me joy to see them enjoying the simple dishes I whip up and nowadays, I remind myself to not just cook what they like but to remember what I enjoy eating too.

On weekends, the hubby returns home so we can usually have some family time together. Sometimes we go for hikes, sometimes we head to indoor playgrounds, sometimes we eat out, sometimes we just stay home and watch a movie. I used to want to be present all the time with the kids but nowadays, I also take a quick break here and there, like letting it take them for a swim while I just rest.

I am forever grateful that Ansel came into our lives because with him around, the boys can form a duo who plays together all day long. With the Jiejies fast growing up, liking to hang out with friends and sticking to their devices all day long, it's nice to see the boys playing with toys, cooking in their kitchen, pretending to fight and just growing up in each other's company.

I give myself a break every couple of days and will bring the kids out for meals or ordee food in. Yes, with no helper, I find it simply too tiring to cook every day! Besides, the kids are bigger now and it's nice to still be able to hang out with them and go for meals together.

The one who spends the most time with me is still the youngest. I love picking him up from school and exploring new places with him as we go on what we call a mother-and-son adventure. 

I love going on school excursions with the kids and am super thankful that I still get to do it with the lastborn for a couple more years. This month, we made it to Children's Museum and had a fun time exploring all the exhibits. He is such a sweet boy who holds my hand endearingly on the bus and tells me how happy he is to have me beside him.

Well, just let me cherish this precious phase before he becomes a big kid like the rest of them, yeah?

Me-time is still very limited for me since the youngest goes for three hours of preschool only. Still, I've been making time for myself like going for workouts, relaxing at home and I even went to the park to do a solo photoshoot this month too.

Mother's Day means we get to gather with the extended family and show our love for our mums. The hubby and my fil, the best cooks in the house, will usually whip up some dishes and we will have a nice time eating and catching up. 

This year, the hubby bought these super pretty floral cakes and I also got these cute 4D-themed plates for our mums. 简单的相聚，满心的欢喜。

Do you ever ask yourself, for how many years more can we do this and come together to celebrate? It might be morbid to have such thoughts but I always remind myself to cherish our time together while it lasts. Our parents are ageing, the kids are turning into teens and adults, and every year is different than before. 只能珍惜，只能把握。

These handmade cards from the kids mean the world to me and I always love reading every word they write. Angel's drawing of a carnation, which the sister accidentally pronounced as coronation, is significant to me as she is at the age where she doesn't wanna do any card for anyone - she just doesn't see the point - and each card takes lots of effort on her part. Of course, every of the sibings' cards mean the world to me too and I love seeing their creativity too.

We also had simple family BBQ because we simply love barbecued food and it's always nice to come together to eat, swim and celebrate. The hardest job is the hubby's who prefers to buy the BBQ ingredients to marinate and cook himself, so yeap, lots of effort and sweat goes into it. For that, we count our blessings and are deeply thankful.

This time, I also made guacamole because some of us for craving for that to go with chips and it was a hit cos' the kids and I finished it so fast. Good way to eat avocado which is a really nutritious fruit.

I wanted to jot this incident down because I was really proud of myself and felt so accomplished. Well, we had been smelling this rotten egg smell in our kitchen for some time but no matter how we looked, we couldn't seem to locate the smell. Then, our fridge was also not getting cold and we knew there was a fault somewhere but didn't wanna get a repairman as the quote they gave was too hefty.

I thought it might be a dead animal somewhere behind the fridge so I pushed it out myself to check. Then a thought hit me and I decided to check the condensation tray. To do this, I needed to completely shift out the fridge, unscrew the coil and unscrew many other stuff before I could even reach the tray. Lo and behold, I discovered the piping was stuck and there was why there was mould, dirt, water and a very bad stench that had formed on the tray.

So I spent hours clearing it, enduring the smell, then fixed back every part onto the fridge and pushed it back into its original place. Not only was the smell gone, the fridge worked well after that too. Yayyy, mission accomplished by Mama! And for free!

May also marks the hubby's birthday and we had a simple but much appreciated celebration with the extended family. We know he works very hard to support our family and we are lucky to have everything that we have in our lives now. So thank you, dear, and hope you enjoyed your birthday!

I cannot stress how important it is to carve out family time and it is crucial to keep doing so even as the kids grow into teens and adults. It keeps the family close even as everyone has their own social circles, work and activities.

It is also important to find time for ourselves and celebrate us for who we are. We also need to constantly finetune our aspirations and dreams, our short-term and long-term goals, our life priorities and so on.

Promise me that no matter how busy life gets or how overwhelming your daily routine is like, don't forget about yourself, okay? You deserve so much more than you think and you are doing such a good job as keepijg it all together. Let's 加油 together!

Till the next post of "Happiness is"!