Happiness is... learning to let go

Posted by ~Summer~ on 3.5.16
in ,

April has been an eventful and exciting month for me. I turned a year older, and hopefully a year wiser, and reflected on some thoughts about being a mother, a daughter, a wife and a friend.

An incident happened last week and got me thinking hard. It's been a challenge trying to cook our meals while looking after the kids at the same time and while I yield to getting takeaways sometimes, I don't want it to happen all the time. So I still try to buy groceries and as much as I can, cook some simple lunches and dinners for the family. One day, while I was cooking lunch in the kitchen (I had already made a soup and only needed five more minutes for the fishballs and noodles), I tasked Ariel to look after the baby who was lying on the sofa in the living room.

Since he couldn't flip or roll yet, I reckoned it should be safe enough. Who knew that he started crying and managed to kick both his feet against the sofa so that he shifted further up and near the edge until.... he fell off and hit his face on the wheel of my swivel chair. He screamed profusely and I rushed out only to see him lying flat on the floor while the sister was still happily playing with her Lego and even singing a tune.

I was so upset, and guilt stricken, that I put the blame on her and hit her on the arm for not taking care of her little brother. Yes, when wrath gets the better of me, I lose sight of all reasoning. I shouted and reprimanded at the toddler as if she was the only one at fault and told her I was disappointed that she couldn't even help me out a little. I also commented that it wouldn't have happened if the big sister was around. Oh dear... I probably said more things that I shouldn't have said too.

Later that day, I saw her hugging her little brother and whispering to him "Next time I won't let you fall okay, didi?" That was when my heart broke a little and I told her how sorry I was, and that Mummy was the one to blame because I had assumed and expected too much of a three-year-old. It was then that I realised that many a time, I just have to learn to let go.

To let go of of expectations because too often, they lead to disappointment.

To let go of assumptions because they can have undesirable consequences.

To let go of blame because what's more important is to learn a lesson and not repeat the mistake.

To let go of guilt because truth be told, accidents happen no matter how much we try to to prevent them.

To let go of trying to be a perfect mum because there is never going to be one in this world.

******

It's easier said than done, I know, but I'll have to try. In the meantime, my cup of life is still half full and I'm thankful for all the positive things happening around us. Here's a look at our month of April.


We went for a birthday party held at East Coast Park and it was a non-fanciful affair complete with beach games and a pandan cake. Instead of holding a grand and large scale party, I realise that it's more important to celebrate your special day with treasured friends and family in a simple, straightforward and fun-filled way.




To celebrate my special day, we went for a nice dinner with the kids, met up with the parents and also redeemed a complimentary 2-hour KTV session at Temasek Club, thanks to the Officers' Wives Club. It was the first time Asher was spending my birthday with me and even though he was bawling when I was trying to make my birthday wish, I wouldn't have it any other way.





On good days, I feel thankful to be able to whip up dinner for my loved ones and take the kids to go grocery shopping. On bad days, I make peace with the fact that we should just eat out. To be honest, I find it easier to take three kids out for a meal, even if it means we take the bus or MRT, than to cook, leave them alone and then having to tackle the mountain of dirty dishes.



Besides, we can always go to the library after dinner and have a good read. I'm relieved and thankful that our bedtime reading has helped these two to develop a love for books and I do hope they can keep this up for as long as possible.





This month, we also visited several new places and one of them is Adventure Cove since we have some free passes from the Navy Family Day. Even though the kids were too young and short for majority of the rides, we had fun in the lazy river and the wave pool. The big girl also managed to have a first experience at snorkelling, much to the dismay of the sister who badly wanted to join us but was way below the minimum height.


We also had a day of fun in Future World at ArtScience Museum. It was so much more kid-friendly and exciting than I imagined and if you have not popped by yet, do go and have a look!



Saturday Social BBQ at Timbre @ Gillman was also a pleasant and enjoyable evening with the kids. Read about our experience here and if you have not heard of it, the theme for May is Superheroes so if your kid is a fan, do go check out their activities and tuck into the delicious barbecued food with your family.



It's been awhile since we visited East Point Mall, even though I used to come here pretty often as a kid. We were thrilled to see that there is a newly opened Polliwogs outlet here and a fun outdoor playground at the terrace. There was a huge rope structure which Angel took some time to climb and figure her way out but I was glad she managed to overcome her fears and obstacles.



Isn't it amazing how a simple face or hand painting can bring smiles to their faces? I'm not sure if my boy will end up liking these as much but if it makes these two sisters so happy, I'm glad that we get opportunities like this at birthday parties and events.





The girls have also been attending Herugu classes at Waterway Point and I'm glad to see that they are loving the lessons. It's not always smooth for us because I have to drag them up from their afternoon naps to make our way to Waterway Point, plus I have to bring the baby to accompany Ariel for her class (Angel can go for hers on her own). If he starts to cry or poo, I have to excuse myself and leave the toddler alone in class. So far, we've survived pretty well and they look forward to every class, which is good news to me. Will share more in a review post after their term ends!



We were invited for a meet and greet session with the cast of Madagascar Live! and also managed to get front seats for the show. Yes, perks of being a mum blogger! The kids were totally thrilled and ecstatic that they managed to "move it, move it" and dance with the cast during the show!



As Friends of the Gardens, we have also been utilising our annual pass and have visited Tulipmania at the Flower Dome and gone to the Cloud Forest at night. Though these kids definitely prefer animals and living things that can move, it's refreshing for a change once in a while too.



We also spent one day exploring SAFRA Punggol and the kids had fun painting flowers, making pizza and playing at Splash @ Kidz Amaze. Will share more about that soon!



I also had a week of solo parenting when the hubby flew overseas for work. I found it quite amusing that the kids were not upset to see him go and waved to him through the glass happily. However, when I said that Mummy was going to fly away too, they went "Nooooooo....", "I wanna come with you..." Yeah yeah, that's one of the joys of being a stay home mum - your kids stick to you like superglue.


The baby went for his vaccinations this month, one on each thigh, and decided to let out lots of poo when we were at the polyclinic. Alas there was no changing table available so I changed him on a sink which was relatively quite flat. Improvise, improvise, that's what we have to do to survive, right?



Talking about the baby, he's growing up fast, is learning to flip, outgrowing his baby clothes and gets heavier by the day! It's been a joy having him with me 24/7 and I just hope that his bruise recovers soon for now. Sorry, baby, I'll do better next time!



There was also a series of firsts for the baby this month, for instance he went for his first swim in the bathtub, went on his first ZooMoov ride and his first kiddie ride too! How cute of him and how lucky of me to be able to witness all of these.



Last but not least, he also had his 'first food' ceremony, just like the jiejies, where he got to taste a chicken drumstick, prawn, biscuit, brown rice cereal and apple when he turned four months. Yes, he's four months already, can you believe it? The girls had so much fun taking turns to feed him and even though it became quite a rowdy affair and the hubby had to break them up, I am still thankful to have this handful of kids in my home.

So yes, April was a good month for us and I think May will be an even more awesome one. Oh by the way, we are so looking forward to June because we will be going for our first holiday of five! Guess where? Woohoo!

Hope all of you had a great month too!

2 comments:

  1. Hi Summer, a friend introduced me to ur blog and I've been reading ever since (and still catching up on ur past entries...oh, love those travels!). Like u, I'm a SAHM (with 2 kids, younger one born 1 week later than Asher :D) and have always resisted 3rd party help, so have been looking to ur blog for some motivation and relief when things get tough. Just wondering how u manage to fend off well-meaning yet a tad bugging comments to get a helper? And with what happened to Asher, does it make u start thinking too?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Shirley, nice to know you and thanks for the comment. We all need motivation to get through the tough days and I get inspired by my friends or fellow mum bloggers too. Haha it's simple, I just tell them my already cramped house has no space for a helper (it's the truth, so we didn't get a confinement nanny too) and I'm a stubborn mum who wants to do everything myself since how that has been from day 1. To be honest, both the elder ones have fallen from beds or sofas at one point or another and I've always felt the guilt. Nonetheless, I still think we can survive without a helper, just gotta live with a messier house and less homecooked meals. I really enjoy being with them 24/7 and love taking them out and doing things my way. Having no helper also makes my elder ones more independent and I am thankful for that. :) well, let's jia you together! Drop me an email anytime you need a listening ear!

    ReplyDelete

Yoohoo, thanks so much for reading my blog and leaving your comment! I am feeling the love! (^.^)

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